It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
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I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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