We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
