Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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