Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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