I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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