Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize