so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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