oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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