Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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