I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
