he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
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