One girl and one boy is just not enough.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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