u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
