god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It's shark week go big or go home
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
