i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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