talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
kristin has been a bad kristin
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
