Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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