Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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