I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
