Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
