that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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