Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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