Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
