We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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