so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
