Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize