Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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