You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
