Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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