Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
