I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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