Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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