It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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