Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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