Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
