have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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