This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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