Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
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I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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