finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
