there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
