I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We have started to decorate penises.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
