exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
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I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
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You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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