we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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