u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
