How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
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