well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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