i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I need to sanitize my soul.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
