You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize