Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize