hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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