He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
