I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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