I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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