69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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