I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
