it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize