Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
