That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
