You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
